After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
