yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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