Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
