i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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