Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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