May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
