we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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