i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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