Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
