He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i think im in europe. pls send help
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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