I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
