Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you never un-have a 4some
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
