I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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