Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
