I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
