Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
