This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
