im drinking this country out of the recession.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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