I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
