he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
