and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
