As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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