This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
