So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
