i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
