im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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