He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
