I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
