I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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