Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
