i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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