Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
