I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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