Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
