oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
