The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
