i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
