Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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