Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
