just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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