We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
