I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
