when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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