Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
