I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
