i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
