you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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