Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
