She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
