I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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